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pidgeonspit
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Ciao! Much of this journal is friend's only, so please comment and add me if you'd like access to all the hidden material and neurosis within. Liebe, |
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I don't know what to write that can describe even a little bit how terrifying and difficult this week has been. I start working this week and I think I probably found a studio I can afford. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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I have essentially changed for the worst, and become my worst fears. My basic mode of operation is to endure, not to create. Expectedly, at a time in my life when I need companionship the most- I am isolated. And i endure.
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Just replaced all the pictures I have of my dad with Otto Dix paintings. Much better. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Inspired to write in this old thing again by an old friend. A lot of things have happened since my last update, and every day I am enthralled by the overwhelming sense of movement I feel. We (my family and I) are being pulled by mystical forces away from a boring life. We're really moving overseas this time next year. This has been in the making for a long time, but over the past year and currently we have been making real efforts to get the fuck out of here. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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But sort of not really? I feel like I'm the only one that's changing, and that I'm mostly struggling to contain this internal change. What is it? I'm not entirely sure but I'm just very different. I'm finding a new direction I think. I'm starting to realize some fears and to truly realize the immense impact that fear has had on my life, actions, and being for the last...beginning and duration of my life. And I've been harsh on myself in an attempt to not only realize this reality but to do away with it. So many things I've done do and said say have been are motivated by FEAR. The problem I guess is that there are vestiges and habits and most importantly people that I care about that have been here all along and may be here because they helped make my fear or are vitally attached to my fear. So I am working on compassion and patience too, but this is harder. because I'm young and have the potential to be a lot better. I hope you catch on soon. This doesn't make sense, but I don't even give a fuck. Hi, livejournal. |
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Here's my Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab wish list: General Catalogue scents I want to try: Alice Amsterdam Antony The Apple of Sodom The Apothecary Baba Yaga Bathsheba Belladonna Bensiabel Bewitched Black cat Bluebeard Brimstone Burial The Caterpillar The Chicken-Legged Hut Coyote Darkness Deadly Nightshade Honey Dee Delight Delphi Depraved Djinn Dorian The Dormouse Dragon’s Milk Fire for thy Stepmother’s Daughters The Forest Reverie Glasgow Golden Priapus Gomorrah Grand Guignol Haunted Hecate Hellfire Hemlock Hemlock Honey The Hesperides Hetairae The High Priest Not to be described House of Night How Doth the Little Crocodile Hymn to Proserpine Iago Imp Incantation Jazz Funeral The Jersey Devil Jezebel Kabuki Kathmandu Lear The Lion Marie Mata Hari Nanshe Nocnitsa Oberon Oleander Honey Omen Paris Penny Dreadful Rapunzel Robin Goodfellow Rocking-Horse-Fly Rome Rosalind Rumpelstilzchen Sacred whore of Babylon Scarecrow Seance Somnus Strangler Fig Temple of Dreams Tenochtitlan Tintagel Titania Thanatopsis To a Woman Tzadikim Nistram Urd Vassilissa Velvet Verdandi Voodoo Whoso List to Hunt The Witch’s Garden The Witch’s Repast Yellow Jessamine Honey Yew Trees Yggdrasil Yorick Zombi Limited Edition scents I want to try: Candles moon worm moon Falling leaf moon Frau Holle Hexennacht Illuminati Cotillion The Illustrated woman Krampus The Montauk Project The Steeple Teatime in Roswell Traipsing through the Crop Circles Womb Furie blue pumpkin floss Any halloweenies- especially pumpkin scents! Scents I adore and always desire more of: Baku Beanman and Beanwoman prepare to attack the vagina Boomslang Dana O’Shee Deep in Earth The Lights of Men’s Lives Ouija Snake Oil paduan killer swarm death cap |
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